That human beings are imperfect is admitted and obvious. If we could only leave it at that admission we might proceed in life with an acceptable humility, mutual understanding so to adapt appropriately, and get on with search for the good life. In Christian theology this imperfection is known as depravity (a condition of human nature identified as sin) which denies free access to God without a prescribed intercession (a spiritual advocate for the defense and an acceptance by God of an adequate penalty paid). Guilty mankind, unable to be both the guilty party and incompetent to meet the evaluation of the court of God, must rely on the compassion of the judge met in the empathy of Christ’s offering. Therein is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
But what about human life and the imperfection of the human race, even when the blessing of the gospel has been invoked and incorporated? That imperfection is a pesky matter. It causes us to do some heinous things, even when we have embraced the Christian rescue, and uncovers our immaturity as inheritors of the gift of God. We are often reminded of the failures of good people. My son and his wife owned a fine four-plex. I occupied one unit, my home for over twenty-five years – half of those years shared with my wife, now deceased. During that time a renter moved out during one night owing three month’s rent, and took some property with them including the garage opener. Two units were vacated with rent owed, and the condition of the apartment of one requiring extensive renovation. Both tenants had to be nagged for their rent, offered numerous untruths, and made no apologies for breaking conduct agreements for lease. Another couple waited until an official order (an additional cost) was advanced from an attorney’s office to vacate, so they could use it to generate funds from some charity source. One renter had water and electric shut off by the city for weeks before they moved. The recommendations of some renters seemed to be forged or arranged by friends or families – which brings me to the consideration of families in our theme.
Families are often dysfunctional for the same reasons renters, or troubled workers, or rebellious youths, or conflicted persons in any context create complexity of good and bad in thought and action within families, on the jobs, even in churches. Nearly all persons have an irresistible sensitivity. They are easily offended and may not recognize how easily. Usually the weakness of the flesh of all concerned plays a part in the mix – misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and a flock of other misses in made-up words that point to the stew of our lives that violate kindliness and hospitality. We like to be asked, and we don’t like to be asked. We like to be invited, and we don’t like to be invited. We like our parents and children to be strong and lead: we don’t like them strong to tell us what to do, or appear to have some authority. We say we love each other, but we don’t permit space for each other. We want warm families, and we want our families to leave us alone. The combinations of paradoxes and contradictions would take a book to list. We are easily hurt, and believe someone has deliberately offended. We carry the ill feelings, perhaps ill will – for long periods of time. We praise the benefit of gracious and repeated conversation, but seldom initiate any kind of conversation. We neglect our parents when they get older, and we are offended at our children for neglecting us when we grow older. We want loved ones to give attention to us, but do not take the effort to give attention to those loved ones. All this and much more is in the residue of humanity, and becomes the source of more loneliness, even sorrow, and the loss of responsibility to others in the course of lives.
The answer rests in a number of Christian virtues that includes the confidence that the approval of God on our lives is enough to match any neglect – anything that mankind can do to us. Another gift is hospitality that registers in the affirmations of life reaching out to others even when they do not reach out to us. We treat others as we would like to be treated, not as we are treated. One sided? Yes, on many occasions. We get over feeling sorry for ourselves – avoid finding fault, build relationships that God recommends in family and related fellowship. Acceptance does not mean approval. It does assist love, and leads to peace.
*Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020