Words, Words, Words

Among serious influences for young lives, for good or ill, is youth itself.  Youths yearn to be adults, so not to be responsible to another adult in a family.  This is so to be one’s own person.  In this fuzzy shove and pull of the teen-aged person there is considerable play acting.  This may be done in experimentations, in dallying with sex, smoking a few cigarettes or joints, in driving dad’s car down the driveway, or even on the street, and so the story goes and grows  One of the factors in the scenarios is language.  The four letter words are used as one of the first evidences that the child is trying to break out of childhood into the adult world.  The distortions of language appear to give Dad, and sometimes Mom, a kind of power impression, a bit of authority that may appear rakish, or angry, or just something many grown-ups do.  In my mother’s boarding house there was never the use of any profanity when my mother was present, or when other ladies from among the roomers or my twin sisters were present.  In their absence, most of the men did not hesitate to use rough language, usually in fun, or when in an illusion of thinking about some contradictory circumstance.  For some the matter had become habit, but the control periods suggested they knew what they were doing.  Like all my male friends I was caught up with the play acting.  Only when I perceived that I wanted to live Christianly did I drop the nonsense that would have later reduced my model influence of witness on my family and others.  In my own later home we avoided even substitutes (slang) for swearing.  We do not lose our authority situations in using good language.  Poor language offends.

At the university, while pursuing a doctoral degree I was shocked when my favorite professor one day, full of anger at the poor response of the class, launched into an angry dressing down that was full of expletives, loud voice and fierce mien.  He later apologized to the class.  He knew that I did not approve of the explosion, and the language.  We had become personal friends.  We had private discussions together about my Christian philosophy and practice.  He wanted me to think well of him, as he told me he thought well of me.  Ultimately he accepted the chairmanship of my doctoral committee, acceptance he seldom gave to applicants – and many asked him to be their chairman.  He felt students didn’t work hard enough.

I made a study of the research into the uses of pejorative words, especially words that are termed swear-words.  If the words used the name of God they were usually given their own identity as oaths (taking a negative direction in the name of deity).   A number of articles appeared in journals on speech and semantics.  Although my search was made more than fifty years ago, it likely continues to hold in the conclusions, although I would prefer to see more recent studies to see if, in the informal direction culture has taken, the interpretations may have now been diluted.  None of those scholarly treatments, all secular, found the casual language helpful.  Quite the contrary the results suggested that most users were not thinking well.  More hesitant than they were expected to be, they were in disregard of the impact on many of their listeners, even those with similar habits.  Lists of negatives were extended in studies.  At best the practices related to interrupted and poor thinking – filling space with repetitive sounds (um, or you know).

Materials imply that those who swear may not mind if another person swears, if in casualness, but those who do not are put off by those who do even if in casualness.  Some persons will not work for a supervisor who swears.  Such leaders lose some excellent people.  We are reminded here that our language represents respect for the listener who is attracted to what we have to say in the implications of respect, clarity and serious meaning.  There is no way that I could vote, in 2016, for a candidate for office who swears in campaign speeches – as one has done.  At best there is crudity, at worst there is sin (disrespect). My interest in language for meaning and influence, both within myself and with others has been one of the most rewarding efforts and experiences of my life.  To be affirmative, direct, gentle to self and others in the use of choice and meaningful language, sometimes elevating in using this word rather than that one, even when either would be acceptable, makes a difference.  Our goal in this conduct is to make things better, make us better.  There is magnificent healing and solution in improved language.