One of the most progressive spiritual lessons one will ever learn is the achievement of the prayer: Lord, give to me the desire to want to want to do your will. The repetition of the words want to gives us pause to be sure we do not have redundancy. The repetition is a deliberate insertion into the matter of achieving spiritual advancement. It helps us understand what we are in reality, self- oriented persons. I have often asked a counselee the question, Do you really want to ‘want to’ solve your problem? We then pursue that course. There is difference between this person and his or her mate. They have come to me for counseling, but I sense that nothing is going to happen to move us toward positive solutions. One or both persons came to me so that they can later report that they tried counseling and it didn’t work. I do not have time for the charade, nor do I want counseling to suffer another failure – alleged or real. So common is this devious motivation that the research shows there are fewer solutions found in counseling than one has right to expect. Often in these sessions I gain the down deep feeling of one or both of the parties, No, I really don’t want to solve the problem. I want out. Either the person needs to take a higher road, or the marriage will remain broken. They may even stay together for an extended period of time, but without a change in heart on the approach to the issues, the marriage is a stand-off at best – not what it ought to be. Something broken may not be forsaken or abandoned. Even so it is not something desirable or necessary.
The concepts here apply in many other ways. I want to go to church, but I don’t. I want to pray, but I don’t. I want to accomplish this or that, but I don’t. I want to follow a better life regimen, but I don’t. I want to be an effective parent, but I am not. In this vein, I am blindfolding myself. The answer is that we need to acknowledge our own weaknesses, ask God for inclination to believe, to seek (to want to want to), whatever insights that will assure a fresh pattern. This is the way Christian life works – the way secular life also works. Not only do we discover a way of life in Scripture, but prayer and application must accompany informed convictions. From this approach emerge peace and joy as well as re-formed living style. It is a way to grow spiritually, and solve problems, as in preserving our families. We even help ourselves to live longer through this application. It is an open secret that some never perceive.
The motivation of wanting-to-want God’s will is a key understanding of the differences in persons reported in the Scriptures. Lot left Sodom, with some ambivalence. His wife clearly did not want-to-want-to leave. Mary was surprised at the will of God for her, but his will was primary. Joseph followed in her train. Even Jesus illustrated the point to the Father, Not my will, but thine be done. We could follow this line of thought for many characters in the Bible. Job learned it. The Apostle Paul learned it. The disciples needed time, but learned it even to the point of death. Without that understanding we will not do as well as we can with the way we manage our resources, daily lives, or relationships. We may be God’s children, but we have omitted something important to making life what it ought to be, in service, in love, in satisfaction. God’s children can become recalcitrant. It all can begin a devoted life, and worked through, by invoking inclination: Lord, help me to want-to-‘want-to’ do your will. In this is fulfilled, Thy will be done. In this is devotion. Once learned for attitude and commitment there is something that happens in the assurance of the individual related to faith.
One of my sons-in-law long ago sent to me one of his parishioners with whom he had joined into close friend status. The friend’s marriage was collapsing, and the closeness of relationship may have prevented objectivity in helping the troubled couple. It was obvious to me that the husband wanted out, but wanted to go through the motions so to satisfy his pastor and his own wife. He admitted my suspicion. I rejected the charade as a route to failure for us all. In short, in the period following he decided to be serious about the issues. He joined the solutions concept. The recovery was successful, saved a marriage, and led to important leadership in the ministry of this layman to his family and the church. Even the friendship between the couples has gained in its spiritual meaning to elevation. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020