We become characterized by the adjectives our families and friends use to describe life. We may not be those persons, in any reality sense, but we are so to them. So one may be serene, or emotional, or testy, or religious, or intellectual, or lovable, or gossipy, or identified in scores of other symbols. (We remember that written or oral words, even sounds not articulated, are symbols as a stop sign or a traffic light are symbols with meaning for a driver.) There is complexity here in that the symbols are taken, or not taken, and even in this they have shades of meaning that make it easy or difficult for some persons to function whether alone or in some social context. The measure of the symbols is found in the sense of self we develop. A fellow recently apologized to me in that he felt he had sent an e-mail with something that was meant to be humorous that he thought I may have taken with a bit of umbrage. My response was: My dear friend, you can’t offend me. I refuse offense, even if the person means to offend me. Anyway, I know you would not be that person. That is the way of it. I refuse to be offended. It is possible to so live.
When I say that a person appears lonely to me, I have a fairly good idea of what I mean, even if I do not have all the words to explain the meaning I hold. That is the way of life for us. There are so many meanings attached to the words we use – and who we are, and who others are. The person I thought lonely may not be lonely at all as I perceive loneliness. I may hear that person say, I am lonely – and mean something different from my observation or perception of loneliness. One needs to know that being alone and loneliness are separate matters. One can be lonely in crowd, but comfortable in being alone. Others feel individual and emboldened in a crowd, but lonely when alone. Individuals live in their own complexity.
When the Christian has fully absorbed his or her spiritual life, that person will not feel either lonely or alone in the meanings that both symbols generally hold. The truly devout person is always visited by God, as symbolized in the home where the child is always attended by a loving parent. The child goes about his or her affairs, with the underlying assumption that Mom is nearby. We talk with persons, no matter how old, who have been marked by the absence of a parent who abandoned the family. They commonly wonder what fault was in them that parents left. They feel lonely, even if for a short period, until they take hold of the situation. We are reminded from Scripture that, under God, we are never alone. The presence of God to the Christian is meant to be sufficient to meet the better side of things for us, but they must be met in a personal and cooperative manner with God. What a gift – to know one is divinely attended.
This Page is prompted by my inability to sleep this night. I went to bed at about 11:30 p.m., and may have been awake for a half-an-hour. I woke up a bit over an hour later, got up and went to the bathroom, I returned to bed, fell asleep in a short period, but awakened at 3:00 a.m. I expected to fall off to sleep, but did not. I used some of the time for prayer. (Prayer sometimes is a marvelous motivation for sleeping, but it didn’t work this time.) At 4:00 a.m. I arose, prepared a latte in the kitchen, and approached my trusty computer, nearly twenty years old, and began to write this Page. Two other computers worthy of lightning technology are near, but I favor this one, one that is old enough to be slow enough for an old man. I am thrilled to be just where I am at this hour, now just past 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I owe it all to God, who does not follow exactly the schedules of mankind. He is always with me, and I wish that I could tell any Christian who would listen: You are never alone. As a young person, even as a Christian engaged in ministry, I had no idea that my declining years would be so full of presence. There is true fulfillment in faith that is living. Christ told the disciples he would be with them. He would never leave them. In that knowledge we may follow the Apostle Paul to a dungeon. He was not alone, and the presence was not just a belief. The perplexed jailer was afraid, but was served by the Christian inmate who assured him that God would not only be with him but with his family. I use the passage to assure those who wonder about their families. God is present, and active in our lives. We need the emphasis that Christian faith is personal. God is interested in the larger society, but he begins it all with the individual. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020