Children

This date was begun in Volume 1 with the birth story of my firstborn, and the event’s effect on me.  That day I felt proud to be a human being, by a deeper concern for others, especially in those days for my wife and our new baby.  The beginnings were difficult in the premature birth of our tiny daughter.  In retrospect the experience was good for all, and certainly marked my feeling of being grown-up.  I became a man, not a boy, a lad, or an adolescent.  (Some things we identify as adult ought to be termed adolescent.)  In Volume 2 for this date there are stories of marriage and children somewhat surreal in the telling.  In Volume 3 there is the description of one of several substitutions for God’s gift of family, leaving a sense that mankind’s values related to family may sometimes detour, and the cost of the distraction may be high.  The matter is threatening so we give it prayer, respect and attention in the light of God, a light that shines from the Scripture (theory and practice) and verified in human experience (successful/failed experiment).

For the final consideration for this date in this 4th (Senior) Volume, the situation is summarized in what it is for many secular contexts, and what it ought to be for the maturing Christian family.  We understand that some Christians choose, or fall into, the humanistic (dominantly human) pattern: some humanists choose, or fall into, the Christian (dominantly biblical) pattern.  We need to be reminded, from time to time, that performance in the contexts of life may not meet the best pattern for redemptive faith in which persons rest themselves, as individuals, in God’s redeeming enterprise.  The thief on a cross, at the site of Jesus’ crucifixion, had no time to declare his newly found faith.   It is so for many persons in life, with their own contexts of unfulfilled potentialities.  The point to be made here is that every person (including a parent) should function as a helper for all others (including children) in their lives.  That lifting person should be guided by love, prayer, growing wisdom, respect of the rights of the individual or group before him or her, and by an awareness that no matter what process is followed, flawed human beings will make mistakes, will disappoint, and may reject the best efforts to assist in the context of life that each makes for self.  Each person should refuse to be offended – absolutely refuse.  It is one of the great lessons I learned in my life – refusal to be offended.  Persons seldom mean to offend.  Later information may repair ill attitudes.  Many reasons may be offered.  Even if the person means to offend, I reject the offense.  Take the high road.  It is well known that a reason for health decline in persons relates to holding grudges, to taking negative approaches to interpersonal relations, and the like.  These are especially strong in wounding families, especially ugly in parent/child relationships.  The father of the prodigal scanned the horizon every evening, yearning for the return of his wandering son.  One warms to the son on return, and the reconciliation.  The faithful son to the father missed it, and may have lost the opportunity to close the circle in love and joy.  His focus was not on persons and relationships, but on the distribution of property after father’s death.  I will never forget the story of a dear friend who felt shame that she and a sibling argued over an antique sewing machine left by her deceased mother.  All persons in the piece were Christians.

Family members belong to one another in a special way.   We share human blood.  Science can show that we are part of one another.  The concept is larger so that marriage invites others into our family circle.  The family was never meant to be totally private to self.  Each individual that we inherit or adopt belongs to our families.  God has three primary institutions in the World – the family (parable), the society (government) and the Church (communication).  They are supposed to function in relationship – in love, in service, in righteousness, and cultivated in practice that includes prayer for God’s will and sustaining provision.  It is not our duty to judge another.  That is God’s reserve.  So the devout Christian is urged to manage known good and evil for the ultimate meaning of Christlikeness.  The family is the first line of one’s effort to carry through the ideals of Christian compassion, to register the patience of Christ, as well as related virtues that warm the lives of others, show love, acceptance, and a problem-solving attitude.  Application of the above argues meaning for, and the education of, the Christian and family.  The culture of God is carried in peace..  Fragmentation of life is not God’s way.  (Revelation 22:11 is a major matter.)