Common Grace Finds Divine

Immediately after the national elections in November, 2012, it was announced that an honored, gifted, respected leader in the military and other national appointments had an intimate affair with the person who had written his biography.  The scandal was reviewed numerous times through the media, with various interpretations, but with the universal agreement that this was a serious matter that might have meaning to national security, meant sorrow for families and friends. It provided a depressing feeling for those who had made the officer a model of what a person could be and do.  The various points continue as this is being written and may not play out for a year or so from this date, highly dependent upon the way in which the officer’s wife manages the moral affair. The experience is no different in most of the facts than many other similar occasions in public lives, but this one is taken a bit farther in that the others were not representative of so admired a model in person and profession as this General. He became a social/family lie.  He resigned his position, a resignation accepted by the President of the United States.  His infidelity may have been aided by persons who would in course, naturally succeed him.  The matter remains suspended.

So it is that many professionals are presumed vulnerable.  Today (11/19/2012), a respected professional was interviewed about the matter on a widely seen program.  She said there were steps that would have to be followed in resolution that would be satisfactory.  They would include taking responsibility for the event, explanations of all that occurred, absolute separation from any contact between the two parties, and means of working through the event so to accomplish some relief for the wife’s grief, and wonderment if she was at some fault in the event.  When asked by the interviewer what would come next, I was pleasantly surprised when the counselor said that from there the matter is spiritual.  The spiritual issue related to forgiveness.  Did the aggrieved person possess whatever is necessary to forgive and find a way to mend a relationship?  It had been perceived as excellent before the infidelity.  If forgiveness is given and accepted, the future will be good, although it would need for a longer or shorter period of time for lifehealing.

I have been the counselor in similar problems, and would have been honored to have been present to add my understanding of the event and the reconciliation of the marriage.  First, it ought to be believed that the nature of the human being can fall to temptation.  It is human, and need not become too sophisticated in explanation.  David the King, honored of God to the writing of Holy Writ, saw Bathsheba, took her, and suffered consequences.  He wrote about his forgiveness in Psalm 51, and it was granted.  Magnificent forgiveness from the people saved his position.  It was not denied.  It was not trivialized.  It was serious as the prophet made clear in confronting David.  However, it was solved.  It is clear from Scripture that an aggrieved mate may not forgive sufficiently well to save a marriage.  It is in the person to discover to what degree the divine solution of forgiveness is given.  About two of three marriages end when infidelity is the issue. Only forgiveness can deal with it.  If it is given, victory likely saved the marriage.  In the war of good and evil, the weapon of forgiveness is the most effective.  Scripture identifies infidelity as sin.  The theological explanation, the meaning of fidelity as a relationship to God, and various other details are worthy of discussion and acceptance, but the understanding of forgiveness and its place in life as a practical and effective means to overcome tragedy is also reality.  When persons have learned to forgive, they have learned to do something that God does.