More needs to be said on the way to healing, to problem solving, to victorious living through caring relationships. This is too major, too expansive, to let go by without extra emphasis. It must be clear that this is not mainstream therapy which relies on careful studies of human thought and behavior, although that may be expected to accomplish solutions for many problems. It does not emphasize diagnosis, methodology or formulas. That omission is enough to end the matter for a great many seekers of therapy. They may tend to trace fault lines. We want solutions found partly in the uniqueness of each person’s life, and a belief in spiritual assistance in earth life.
I have discovered how to reduce the number of persons coming to me for help in personal ordeals, and interpersonal tragedies. I make clear on the first or second meeting with an individual or couple that my orientation is Christian, biblical Christian. I am a believer that every personal issue has a component that one may identify as relatedly spiritual. (Even if not identified, it is present.) Therefore, the use of Scripture, prayer, and compassionate exchanges of information and feelings will be treated in practical insight with the agencies of human techniques like questions, discovery, and change. And, we must have empathy together, feeling in with each other, but objectively separate from each other. All this creates a caring relationship, at least for now. These serve the situation and persons. This orientation causes some persons to drop out. The pattern doesn’t fit what they are looking for – only persuasive diagnosis, insight to practical solutions, and some theoretical orientation that has been tested, secular for the most part, and attractive to their own orientation. One is humbled by the fact that even the religious counselors hold widely separated views about what counseling ought to be. (I found disparate differences in my readings from Larry Crabb, Jay Adams, and a dozen counselors back through Gary Collins, Preston Bradley, Rollo May, Thomas Harris and others.) Non-directive counselors intrigued me.
Who is left to see me? Those remain who believe that joining with me in a relationship of self-discovery, and what God can do with that insight. Persons in marital discord discover that I believe in biblical marriage and the belief that it is for the life of the partners. The change is not to be accomplished in the other partner, but in the one who comes to me – if only one comes. (In any event, neither person may change.) Persons may proceed to divorce, but I am still there trying to find what can be done to make the counselee a better person moving toward a better experience with God and life for human achievement and loving relationships. I share experience, ideas and possibilities. I am also improved in the process, finding new frontiers. I discover that I am more sensitive to my own needs for repentance, forgiveness, self-acceptance, prayer and change.
Where is all this found? It is found in a constant that is the relationship of the holy perfection of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit related to the life of anyone open to that relationship, made practical in the application of Scripture, insight and practice. Does everyone follow? No. Could they? Many emerge who do find remarkable healing, relief, and a fresh, even if not new, orientation for life. I am guided by Jesus who asked questions, expecting life changing answers and conduct. Persons with whom I shared personal problems more than fifty years ago continue as friends. They have done well. My methodology that did not take for some would skew any evaluation of my counseling. In any event, I am pleased to have relied on Christian perceptions and attitudes for personal problem solving. It works – when applied. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020