Counseling, as commonly perceived, has not been highly successful. Periodically, the journals in fields related to counseling have published articles from research and from anecdotal testimonies about weakness and failure in counseling. There are several reasons for failure, but major ones appear to be: ineffectiveness of counselors; resistance of counselees; finding problems too extreme; and, evasion of responsibility in general society. Our concern here relates to counselors.
Failures commonly relate to the counselor’s lack of knowledge about the problem, poor diagnosis, self-orientation, theoretical limitations, and lack of adequate empathy. On the part of the counselee there is withheld information; personal orientation that rejects counsel; poor skills for communication in speaking and listening; lack of confidence in one or both the process and the counselor; and, other reasons, some unknown. Of philosophy, the person may be spiritually oriented and the counselor humanistic, or the counselee may look for an authority figure but the counselor is non-directive. These and other factors lead to ineffectiveness. The more difficult the problem the less likely there will be that any solution will be found. For example, problems of alcoholism, of drugs, of sexual disorientation resist solutions. What one interprets to be a problem the other may not – as is common in the matters of sex and drugs, including alcohol.
Basic to general Christian counseling is belief that each person has within, the answer to his or her need. For decades I have read many agony columns, not so much to get the response of a popular adviser as to follow the trends of problems that appear in the mail of media gurus. Over the years I followed numerous reporters. The most famous was Ann Landers. A popular figure, Dr. Phil, is currently making impact, and continues at this writing, through referrals, television, and books. Both Ann Landers (past) and Dr. Phil (current) were shown to have flaws in their own lives, or have heard accusations against them, that cast shadows, but they seemed to say that they made mistakes from which they might articulate counsel to those who might respond to them. Landers had a long, fairly well known, break with her twin sister, who also had a popular column, Dear Abby. Landers divorced her husband for infidelity, which divorce was reported at the time without details. Later she had a relationship with a married man even though she was firm with her counsel that such events borrowed trouble. She broke off the romance. Negative stories of many well-known counselors, including Freud, might be summarized here if space permitted. The inability of some counselors to follow their own counsel, to avoid or overcome their own unhappy events, is understandable, given human nature. The embarrassment is especially objectionable in clergy counselors. The story, a solemn one, includes the moral breakdown of some ministers and priests who giving biblical counsel, and insisting on righteous conduct, fail to apply it to themselves. All of this suggests for counselors that they recognize the fault line in every person and try to find the better person inside of him or her – the one God meant that person to be. One needs to mine the soul and brain of the troubled person, with empathy and clarity, so to draw out the solutions. That is to be done non-judgmentally, humbly, biblically, in mutual exchange, assisted by personal model and with prayer. God put solutions to self-problems within us. He gave us biblical keys to unlock them. One wonders why so many persons are unwilling to give God an opportunity to turn that inner key, and counselors to assist in humility, related to a system that includes spiritual character and search. Prayer and devotional type materials assist. It is interesting that popular media counselors seldom refer openly to God. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020