Today has been a day of sorrows. A dear lady has called several times breaking her conversation with tears, as she finally has determined to get a divorce. For two years I have counseled with her, to find ways to preserve marriage with a man who seldom communicates. When he does, his words cut like sabers. He repeats that he does not love her. Refusing to seek any help, he is sinking into alcoholism. He is largely taken up with his own interests. Together, they are at the end of a quarter century marriage. She has done what she could, but to no avail.
A communication came over the fax machine from a man who feels his former employer has lied to him, underpaid him, and, in general, treated him not only unfairly but with ill will. The man, unable to accept the circumstances of his experience, seems set on gaining satisfaction, which will squeeze his spirit. He warns me about protecting my reputation by not relating to the man he alleges hurt him. The review of his situation suggests that he will give some time to revenge without success or victory. A dear member of my family, facing difficult financial pressures, needs not only tens of thousands of dollars to meet obligations, but courage after years of hard work in a business that has failed leaving him without reward. The burden seems onerous, especially with too few years remaining to catch up and get ahead for old age. We talked together, at length, on some of the ways to tackle the massive burden.
There were several minor problems added to the above. My CPA called and told me to pick up completed tax forms, and be prepared to pay my state and federal income taxes. I did so with a few hours to spare before deadline. I was trying to calculate my carbohydrate intake, to manage Diabetes#2. I inadvertently left my tester in California last week – at the home of one of my daughters. I couldn’t get the attorney on the phone to help the first lady I was trying to help. My calls were not returned. And so the day went along. Another lady called, with whom I have also been counseling for two years, who criticized me for not agreeing with her on her response to shabby treatment she had received from her former husband, two or three attorneys, a couple of pastors, and assorted friends. She was on her way to the FBI to see what might be done. All of this would not have come to pass, she repeats often, if her former husband had gone to a guru in another state. We will leave this story for now – too long and somewhat bizarre.
What is my response to all this pain, all this trouble, all this confusion? Try to dislodge it with the Double P.O.W. principles that will open life space now for the future. Prayer starts it. Obedience to Scripture will give a sense of gratification in one’s own conduct. Work will keep the troubled person occupied during healing time. Turn the page. Patience joins prayer. Oral communication with an insightful counselor, and perhaps with one or two friends (not many but mature), offers courage and problem solving. Weave new life with the resources, gifts, challenges and instructions God affords along the way to the future. What an insight to know that God has a workable plan for anyone at any point in life. He can make repairs, and close the past, if it should close – for the future. Whole passages of Scripture are instructive about distress and disappointment. It is good for us that Scripture makes clear that some of God’s special servants like the patriarchs, and Hannah, and David, and the Apostles were persons who, along the way, had some appalling experiences, but carried on through the tunnel events of their lives to be honored of God, and used as models to us of life collisions and recoveries. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020