I tuned into a popular mid-day television program, entitled Dr. Phil. The counselor gained his celebrity status as a segment of the Oprah Winfrey show that had dominated in day programming until her change in business interests. His segment was spun off on its own. It is one of those too few shows that make contribution to understanding of self, and the options available to better personal relationships. It has a ring of reality to it, addressing any factor from drug abuse to common patterns in the culture that alienate persons, and interfere with the ordered life. It is usually a well formed program using excellent production to advance a point for the day. In this there is something of what may be called entertainment value – without which persons would not listen in sufficient numbers to sustain the show. Communicators must have something in what they do that has special interest factors to gain attention that lead to important objectives. (Shows accenting celebrity seem sometimes a bit contrived, even in Dr. Phil’s program.)
There is much that commends the show that includes the presence of Phil’s wife who creates supportive force in exchanges in which a man is addressing a woman who is out of sorts, and needs to be confronted with options. Further, Phil is well informed in his field, draws upon the knowledge of others, and makes sure there is follow-up if the guests on the program desire it. He may not himself be intently religious, but he includes faith based factors as acknowledgment of God, and the use of prayer, in his conversation. His language is occasionally too crude for my tastes. Unlike so many media persons, he does not shun the tools of religion. The only negatives I find from the program are the sometimes greater sternness than I would want to use with a counselee, and the use of words we might relate to swearing. This last is a major matter for me that would likely cause me to evade his assistance. The use of such words not only reduces the context of the counsel, but sets up a pattern that could lower the language culture even more than has occurred. When I was young, the general male culture often used the words (damn, hell, ass, even god and other words belonging to that dysfunctional vocabulary). Gradually, in the break-out for women, one of the factors to prove gender equality emerged for many women to use the slang or swear words in company of both genders. For these words to appear on excellent programs serves to advance the decline in the quality of polite and objective language discourse, which affects decline in behavior. It is likely that persons using such language are not troubled that I do not use it, but for those who do not use that level of language, there is an irresistible offense. I am surprised when well-educated persons disregard the benefits of careful vocabulary to improve conduct. Education is part of that perception and skill in adopting it. As a lad during the great depression, I remember how Father Coughlin, a priest, would use the four letter words to express himself. Many avoided his views believing that a priest, who was sincere in his beliefs about the nature of God, would not use so salty language. This pattern is quite to the contrary of the Apostle’s use of salt for language. Salty now means crude in language usage. The Apostle meant seasoning (mature).
The Dr. Phil program of the other day bore large Christian concept in it. The mother was using ugly language with her son and daughter-in-law, and they were using similar language with her. The family was splintered. One could see the decline of love on their faces. They seemed almost animalistic in face-off exchanges. Dr. Phil pointed out that one does not meet offense with offense. That will not solve problems. To argue that one is responding to unfortunate language, with similar language and mien, simply doesn’t work. Problems are exacerbated, not solved. The language of Christ to us is elevating, problem-solving, honest, clean, born of love and peace. He can purify language to wisdom. Scripture would have it so – savory. What a difference there would be in human problem solving, in gracious exchange, even in analysis of conduct in families, in business, in daily human contact – if the beauty of the language, reflecting the beauty of friendship, were applied in all human exchange. A word in season can make all the difference in the circumstances of the moment. If that is in doubt go to the bed of a patient nearing life’s end, and note what happens when words are elevated. Good language is seasoned (mature) so to accomplish purpose. When it is adopted persons can talk about anything. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020