Exasperation is a normal response found rather often in our experience. Although we think of it as a negative factor in our lives it serves good purpose when we address its cause in a mature context. It brings improvement when we treat it in the way it ought to be perceived and managed. If we are mature, we keep it in boundaries, and it indicates that we may need to do something about the cause of the exasperation. Parents who do not feel exasperation, with understanding, for conflict in their children will not likely be effective parents. The exasperation ought to be mild enough not to generate anger, or eat away too much time in addressing it, but used properly it is a useful form of legitimate anger that ought to be made gentle. To react to it rather than use it positively is to flirt with what we believe to be genuine anger. God’s anger is more closely related to exasperation than anger that flails about, gains harshness, and becomes destructive in both the angry person and whatever the object of the anger, in either self or others. In the text above, Jesus is represented as exasperated. He did something to alleviate his feelings and thoughts.
I have rather often been exasperated with myself for this or that cause, and the feeling rises more often in old age than when I was younger. Aged persons endure encroaching weaknesses related to time span so we try to address the problems, if we act maturely, to overcome the negatives. So I set up systems to take care of the weaknesses. I work out systems to remind me of appointments, of timing my eye drops, of taking out the trash. When I was younger the schedule moved well without any special attention to it. Knowing the general weakness of human beings, I cut a fairly wide swath for others when they fail their appointments, disappoint my preferences, or complain about this or that. I generally respond with a bit of humor related to the human condition, and help where I can to alleviate the exasperation. It is a major matter in our lives, and includes spiritual meaning for us that relates to self-control and the application of constructive conduct and then forgetting (forgiving) the distraction. It is a factor of spiritual maturity.
Even as I am writing this I am also resolving a mild exasperation that has more than a week’s activity related to it. The college I served as president for many years has an attractive habit of sending to special friends a package of See’s Candy on Valentine’s Day. The habit was introduced by one of my successors. Apparently I qualify as a friend. On day 1 of my tiny disaster, I received a card from a carrier that the driver could not find my address to deliver a package, and that I should call for it at an office about thirty miles from my home. If not called for it would be returned to the sender. (To drive to that address would cost more in time and fuel than the price of the gift.) On day 4 (following an intense snow that disrupted easy driving) I took the card to the local franchisee of the carrier. He noted that the local office had no local delivery program, but that he would call and see to it that the package would either be delivered by the directions I gave him, or dropped to his store for me to pick up. I left the card with him, with explanation on clarifying the problem, and a phone number if needed. I no sooner arrived home than he called – that the package would be delivered in response to his call to the driver people who would deliver from the distant point. Day 5 was Sunday. Day 6 I received a call from the driver that he knew where to find the address, and that he would deliver on Tuesday very early. On day 7, I turned on the front light and unlocked the door. (My study is the first room inside the door.) No delivery. On day 8 I received a call from the local representative, that he had the box, and I could call for it at any time during regular business hours. Further there would be a handling fee in the amount of $5.00. On day 9 I drove to the store, paid the five dollars and received the package. I was informed that the driver could not find my address. I reviewed with the manager that I had provided a phone number, an explanation about the address, and agreed to be alert to the driver’s call if there was a problem. The manager then noted that my phone number was on the card, and acknowledged that it had not been passed on to the driver. Further, an aerial photo was on the box which marked exactly the location of my address, a half block off Central Avenue in the main part of town. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020