We return to the topic of friendship. It is an important concept and relationship, and may not be fully understood in its meaning either spiritually or physically. We are most interested in spiritual definition as initial meaning, for in that friendship all the good of mortal friendship is included. Friendship is a problem solver from the experience of two friends to the relationships of nations. A friendly country tends to solve problems with friendly countries. Problems between non-friendly countries are made larger than they are, even escalating to the point of warfare. More needs to be learned about personal and national contexts.
When we discover the depth and beauty of friendship, as God would have it, we are surprised how many persons can distort friendship to the point of immorality. For example, it is likely, in spiritual understanding, that the homosexual distorts genuine friendship when it is moved into the areas of physical intimacy with a person of the same sex, presumably identified with marriage consummation. This emphasized itself to me when a lady (who later abandoned her husband) was heard to say that she suspected homosexual interests between a friend of mine and me. Her cultural background and knowledge of homosexuality made her doubt that two men could have so favorable a relationship as this friend of mine and I enjoyed. My friend and I traveled extensively on business in many states, and on many occasions. We traveled together in a group to the Holy Land. My younger daughter, husband and children were part of the entourage. My friend and I rented the same room for overnights during the years, and always had separate beds. We groomed on mornings in modern ways. Neither of us ever saw the other unclothed. Both honored the other’s personal physical privacy. It never occurred to either of us that we should engage in anything but true friend relationship, part of which is to protect the other from violation of righteous friendship. Our friendship was most fulfilled in our mutual interest in Christian devotion and ministry. There was never a moment when either of us broke the traditional Christian taboo related to homosexuality. Any accusation against our true friendship is reason for great disappointment for us, a smear on a godly friendship highly valued for its constructive spiritual value to us – not unlike Jesus with disciples.
In John’s Gospel, Chapter 15, Jesus summarized the depth of true friendship. He included death as one proof of friendship, in that one would die for the safety of the other. He was saying to his disciple friends (without their awareness at the time) that when he died it was for them. They were friends of God. We may speculate that all the disciple friends, except John, died for their faith and friendship. They felt the honor. The most dramatic of the deaths was Peter’s, crucified head downward. According to tradition, Peter felt unworthy to die in the same position as that of the crucified Christ. The one disciple living out his life, John, was a prisoner on lonely Patmos. He was retained to write the Revelation, the last Book of the Bible. The disciples were the friends of Jesus. He wanted them to know that it meant some sacrifice.
Reading history we become aware of the good that has come from friendship in the various aspects of life. The friendship of David played a large part in the building of the kingdom in Israel. His friendship with Jonathan seems unparalleled. Jonathan would surrender his princely throne for David. David’s friendship with Hiram led to peace and social exchange, carried over to Solomon in Temple construction. There are other stories, as Ruth and Naomi so beautifully noted in The Book of Ruth. The story can be embellished in both sacred and secular writings. I have often read of this or that person, in current life or history, who was without friends, interpreted as something left out of their lives, and the omission did not serve the person well. It may have reduced his or her contribution to legacy. All persons do not marry and have children to fill out new families and occupy primary interpersonal concern, but all persons can fulfill themselves in loving friendship that serves a basic purpose of family. Friendship is the extended family in integrity. Jesus demonstrated it in his relationship with his disciples. Even if persons are unwilling to acknowledge the deity of Christ, he wants to be known as a friend. A person may find the blessing of Christ in acknowledging his friendship. In this is a way of virtue. There is a difference in respect for Jesus that may seem like faith but insufficient to redemptive faith in him. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020