Generational Differences

In the real world we live in a forest of differences.  It has always been so.  If the differences are large enough we can trace them, from bad to good and back again.  I have lived long enough to discover that the changes occur rapidly enough that a person can live in a context claiming and abetting a virtue that is praised and advanced by individuals and society during one period and found to be wrong and abusive in another.  The illustration used here could be carried over in various areas using the appropriate practices and evidence in the search for truth and understanding – to propriety and success.  For our purposes here we will refer to physical punishment.  In the course of long history it has moved from the lash on the backs of any generation for alleged or real violations of other persons or laws, to the point of legal prohibition of any violence against any person for any reason.  In ancient centuries the lash was often a part of even additional punishment.  Jesus was flogged before crucifixion.  The Apostle Paul was flogged several times, sentenced to 40 lashes save one.  It was presumed that 39 lashes might be gracious in assuring that the ultimate punishment would not be exceeded.  It was also a protection against death.  Some persons expired under the severity of the stripes.  The use of flogging was common on ships.  The varieties of physical torture have been common and long continued.  Various tortures practiced even on a limited scale have been vehemently debated in recent years, and generally felt to be disapproved – rightly so, I believe.

In a reduced ferocity and practice the system of spanking (mild flogging) was carried over to children as a matter of discipline.  It was given a favorable nod during the years until about a century ago when students and scholars of human behavior began strongly to depreciate the practice.  Earlier, parents who did not spank their children were presumed to be poor parents.  It was known as woodshed discipline, and offered as an important means for developing good conduct in a child.  My mother was brought up in a home of five children where corporal punishment was taken as norm.  My mother carried the practice over to her children.  I was often punished with a common weapon, the razor strop.  On occasion I was struck by the buckle, quickly corrected when my mother perceived she was holding the soft leather at the other end of the yard long strop.  In all, I never doubted my mother’s love for me.  On one occasion while I was peeling potatoes, when she reached over to slap me downward along-side of the head (boxing of the ears), I raised my hand in protection forgetting I had the paring knife on my hand and nearly severed one of her fingers. She wept about the encounter and her pain for a lengthy period of that evening.  We could not afford a doctor for the severe wound, so she devised ways of treatment – successfully.  The event touched me for life and caused deep regret although I do not remember the cause of my disobedience to her preferences.

I tried some spankings for my sons but did not like the idea, so on several occasions gave them a push with my foot sprawling them on the grass – that seemed less objectionable than blows but was perceived by them and a friend as abusive.  I also felt it generated a negative value, so exchanged it to some things like sitting on steps for a minute longer than the last time they sat there (the best physical discipline form I used).  On occasion they were not permitted to be in the same room together for a couple of days – also effective.  We took in a troubled lad.  Long before, I had given up spanking, but when informed by the public school that he would be expelled for stealing, I informed him of my regret, that nothing was left but to offer a spanking, which I administered with six strikes by hand on the outside of one thigh, and six on the other.  He later told his shop teacher he wanted to make a corner stand for the only man who loved me enough to spank me.  The School invited me in to talk to the administration and teachers about how we achieved a turnaround for the most difficult lad in the school.  In the passing of the years the general agreement now holds for nearly anything except the abuse of children in striking them.  Current articles are appearing that the present verbal approach is doing greater damage than was the case when giving hacks was found acceptable. We do know that the present practices are not working well for rebellious youths.  We must find a better way than is presently the case in rearing disciplined children to adults.  Love with appropriate discipline can do it.