A major issue in the context of life relates to boredom. We do not understand ourselves without a conscious understanding of the influence and nature of boredom. We fear it, and design ways to escape its incursions on our lives. We are not mature until we learn when and how to manage boredom, accepting it on some occasions – if we are to minister to self and others as we ought. A long rambling conversation may be boring to us, but necessary for a troubled person to emerge from some negative context. Most bored persons permit their boredom to show with wandering eyes, shifting body language, and near meaningless responses to the words they hear from the casual, perhaps troubled, person. Boredom has been with the human race from the beginning of time. We expect change in virtually anything human, but there are some factors that never change for us. One of the motivators for change is boredom, and we often become bored with the change that was so motivated. So we change again. Some changes are well directed, and some poorly. Ultimately the circle comes around to introduce a change that was in style before the last change. When men’s grooming habits included shirts with ties, I used to save the narrow ties when the wide ones were stylish, and held the wide ones for their return when narrow ones were stylish.
Sandra Tsing Loh wrote an article: The Monogamy Trap. One of her sub topics: How hard and boring it is to be faithful. She reviewed a book that arrested her attention about marriage conduct. She listed the chapter headings: Pursuit, Destiny, Vulnerability, Connection, Trust, Practicality, Monotony, Infidelity, Loyalty and Wisdom. Loh admired the treatment of the ideas because they were cast in funny context (likely with some humor acceptable to the purpose). Not having read the book I can’t remark on the content, but the chapter headings resonate to me after a lifetime of counseling couples animated into and out of marriage. Infidelity may have been blamed for the break-up of the marriage, but the break was often born in the monotony and boredom that preceded the infidelity, even the marriage. Years after the break the parties often wish they had managed their lives better in serious understanding of human weakness related to boredom and unrealistic expectations that life is full of excitement and unfair if it doesn’t deliver with the feelings of first romance and arbitrary fulfillment. Relationship dominated by romance begins the relationship, even inspiring childlike innocence that seems to have virtue in it, with good feelings, but must be replaced with order and repetition to meaning for the long term of shared experience and presence. We admire this maturity and extol it, but may not do well in applying it to our own experiences. Maturity is a point here. Boredom is an early enemy of our lives. Note how quickly children are bored, and how trying it is to bring them along to a context of serious life. Boredom is a major cause of school disinterest, even failure. It takes inspirational teachers and parents to lead students into the real world of responsibility.
As we emerge from infancy human foibles also emerge. One of these is boredom. Excitement which alternates with boredom seems to be in short supply, partly because we are not perceptive of life meaning. Conscious life, which only mankind appears to have in nature, is a unique thing in the universe and needs its own respect to value. Anything that improves or serves that life, even in solemn labor, ought to be found exciting to the degree that we search for the holy grail of it. We resist blandness and wanderings. Finding fulfillment in achieving meaningful progress, we manage human interest factors. That is serious stuff. Maturity finds its way, not necessarily in changing relationships, but in finding the good life in what we have been given or chosen. Change may not be outside us, but inside. Some choose change by ending this relationship and choosing another in another place. Infidelities may be several. Loyalty and wisdom, even love, are bandied about. Families are cursed by it. Change becomes a culprit, an enemy that destroys part of what has gone before, and often will destroy that which follows – in serial searches. All this may occur to good persons bound to a feeling that they deserve an excitement that change is presumed to bring. It may be aided by lust, selfishness, and ignorance – to boredom. One of the answers to boredom is commitment to the race of faith in Christian hope and daily life. There are solutions to boredom, including participation with others, learning, and faith maturity – gaining meaning. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020