When I began my professional life in both Christian higher education and public ministry, the common belief was that couples, whether married or unmarried, tended to break up over differences related to sexual intimacy and attendant differences, as first cause. There is no doubt that, given the amount of sexual infidelity in marriage and casual liaison, it is a large cause for both start and break-up found in the context of sexual experience. The scenario for each person varies – with formation problems relating to mutuality and fidelity, and the sense of sacredness (spirituality, privacy, love) relating to faith context. Vows relating to spiritual integrity and fidelity have been partly protected in secular society by tradition and law. This last has weakened, in relaxation of laws related to easier separation and divorce. Other options have grown. Counselors are aware of how meaningful intimacy and exclusivity are for happy marriages.
As social studies gained more sophistication in the collection of evidence and analyses, it was discovered that other factors highly interfere with this intense human relationship. For some decades now the primary issue appears to be what we may summarize as materialism. Researchers were surprised that one of the favorite reinforcements of marriage compatibility (sex) apparently does not apply as firmly when money and property are incorporated in the context. They even discovered that when both members of the marriage are materialistic, the future for the couple is even weaker than if only one is so mesmerized. Couples not tied to materialism and believing it to be unimportant to their marriage scored significantly higher (10 to 15%) in other factors indicating marriage solidarity. One in five couples said materialism was important to them to influence. Whether one or both of the partners held the view, they scored lower than couples found to be unmatched in other factors. Communication and responsiveness was low between partners where materialism was important. The pattern tended to become rather stern. It was concluded that materialistic spouses offer lower than normal priority to factors that studies found important to marriage solidarity – including sex. The attitudes of persons of wealth, and their break-ups often illustrate the force of materialism in one or both of the separated spouses. Objectivity suggests large dangers in materialism. The management of wealth in divorces sometimes makes mongrels of persons.
The materialism factor is extended here so to understand what may be happening. Materialism is a threat in sibling relationships, in relationships in communities, and is insidious in much of the culture. At the time of this writing there is a negative national feeling engendered by the loss of jobs and the increasing fortunes given in bonuses to some business moguls. The proposal to tax the wealthy at a higher rate than currently applies has been met with criticism and resistance in the words of many money-makers. The proposal of highly respected and wealthy Warren Buffett – that the rich should pay more tax – has been met with response by other wealthy business persons as if Buffett has violated his market colleagues. He revealed that he made over 62 million dollars in 2010, paid 7 million dollars in taxes, and believed he ought to have paid more. His percentage rate was lower than that of his secretary. This line of thought might be carried further. That is, the attitudes of some wealthy citizens are in violation of the principle of service to others, even in modest dimension. Ugly greed has become a major matter of discussion. Scripture makes clear that the wealthy are weighted down with impediments to spiritual integrity and interests. The implication that there is selfishness, and disregard for values in equity has been lost, perhaps not even recognized. The issues have been addressed from many angles. The point made here is that hoarded wealth is an impediment not only to marriage and family relationships, but to general good. It is not the wealth itself, but the management of it that invited human fault, failure and even sin. It is clear from Scripture that some persons are blessed of God with wealth, a factor in the nature of things, but the love and management of that wealth may diminish persons. I have known a number of wealthy persons who are careful about the matter of stewardship, and I admire their faithfulness. One assisted me to gain a terminal degree at a University. What a gift he and his wife were to me. His life purpose was increased in part by my contributions to the lives of others. Helped by others, I wanted to help. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020