It appears that most persons are touched, at least a little, with some paranoia. For most this matter appears not to be noticed, but there is likely more of it than we perceive. Many suffer silently, perhaps in private, feeling that they are not liked by some persons or groups. Acceptance, we believe, is a right, a large and important factor in our lives. We tend to feel we do not receive adequate acceptance. We feel we have not been guilty of anything that justifies negative attitudes and shabby treatment we may receive in aloofness, neglect, gossip, misrepresentation, even anger, presumed or real. We forget that others are usually likewise troubled on their own and do not mean ill for us. They act as they do because that is what they do, with us or with others.
What is paranoia and what is the real situation for us? Paranoia is the feeling we are being maltreated, that we are being stalked, that we are not liked, all presumably creating evidence of danger and/or problems for us. If paranoia, without foundation, we are not being stalked, others are not gossiping about us, and we have created a monster daytime/nightmare life that robs us of personal peace and tranquility. Counselors must deal with this issue in the lives of counselees who struggle with their balance and self-worth, perhaps believing that persons even in their families may not like them, and have sinister meanings in what they do. So we identify evidence.
What is sometimes called paranoia is reality. There are those who do not like us. Some of them will become aggressive and tenacious to hurt us. Our protests may not change offended or negative persons. One of the crippling features of our lives is to have the feeling that everyone should accept our ways, words, and persons. It is a given for us that differences, abrasions, jealousies, conflicts, competitions will enter to sour the minds of personal foes. A sign of maturity in an individual is the ability to carry on successfully when faced with foes, sometimes faceless, and sometimes found in our acquaintances and family members. Jesus was not deterred by the conduct of Judas – conduct Jesus perceived. King David appears to have loved his son, Absalom, even when Absalom undermined his father and would steal the throne. Stories are common for kings who were on the lookout for those who did not like them. Such leaders, like King Saul, may cultivate deep paranoia as they age. In jealousy of a promising youth, Saul surmised that David was looking for a way to displace him. Paranoia did in King Saul.
Not all citizens like the president. Some actually hate him without good reason. Some church members, on whims, do not like their pastor and may act irritably with him or her, while others in the church love that pastor. The matter is worsened if the matter is compounded by paranoia, so ghost problems are multiplied. One of the liberating features of life is to be set free from the belief that one can ever be good, wise, and attractive enough – to be accepted by everyone. Included are those who are energetic to put us down, to gossip, even to making up tales that are untrue in order to create dark corners – sinister during election periods. They try to up their own stock by deprecating someone else. God means for us to rise above that personal tension, that loss of real grace and care in persons who denigrate others. A sign of maturity is to know that one has a guide for life in Scripture, and so follows it where it leads – in blithe spirit. We may waste time examining ourselves in the context of detractors. It is liberating to believe that, no matter how much attention is to be given to the point, only what God thinks of me is important. No other evaluation relates to daily life or eternity’s final word – a defense from fear. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020