Self and Paradox

Unless we manage carefully, our lives are sometimes cluttered with misunderstood contradiction and/or paradoxes.  When we feel that the issues have appeared in us we tend to begin defense with the common statement: But that is not who I really am.  When Senator Ted Kennedy left the site of the accident at Chappaquiddick that cost the life of his passenger, he acted irresponsibly and illegally.  In the tumultuous follow-up, and in a serious self-analysis, he announced publicly: My children know that was not who I really am.  I agree with his statement, but on the day of the accident that irresponsible cad was the person he was.  Not so dramatically as Kennedy’s experience (which may have cost him the achievement of becoming president of the United States) – virtually all of us in ordinary and/or in dramatic ways either misrepresent that we are or that we want to be – that we want to be remembered by mankind and/or God, in our life legacy.  We too, even espousing Christian morality can become Peter by the fire, or David ogling Bathsheba, or even the strong disagreement of Paul and Barnabas that broke up the ideal missionary team that introduced world change for human life and culture.  God did not punish the moral violations to the degree that the violators deserved, but there were negative responses that assisted the violators to recover who they really were.  For example, the child born of the liaison between David and Bathsheba died, and David bore deep grief in the course of the event.  Peter, denying Christ, was soon forgiven.  Solomon was born of Bathsheba; Peter led the birth of the church; and, a great missionary team became two missionary teams with the addition of John Mark and Silas.  John Mark, failing Paul and Barnabas on the first journey, recovered to what he really was, and Barnabas rewarded him by taking him on as a major member of the team that he, Barnabas, would lead.  Paul later called for John Mark to assignment for ministry.

There are some rather simple tests that instruct the person of the genuineness about their Christian faith, but they take honesty in the person to serve well – and they do serve well.  I look for happiness (joy) quotients in myself.  It is developed in Scripture with words like happy or joy.  All Christians are called to righteousness.  Both sorrow/tears and joy/tears are among the magnets that draw us back to recovery when we wander – when we violate even our own life context of righteousness.  Do I weep over a denial of something I want, of lost treasure, of any selfish matter unfulfilled?  Or, do I weep over the suffering of others, the care of children, the violations of self and the disregard of God?  I learn that David asked God to put his tears in a bottle – the legitimate (worthy) prayers of mankind.  Tears may be prayers representing the desires of the heart. (Psalm 37:4)  The promise is preceded with: Delight thyself also in the Lord.  We remember to check the assumptions related to God’s promises, and find ourselves obedient to them if the promise is important to us.  There is in the presuppositions the belief in God’s interest and empathy especially in his relationship with mankind.  He recognizes our weakness, remembering our structure of both strength and weakness.  (Psalm 103:14)  In Christ, God’s empathy and sympathy are revealed.

We find some spiritual truth in the overlaid functions God has given us.  We have speech from organs meant to protect us from food delivery to the lungs and air to the stomach (although by our functioning we sometimes test procedure, with firm coughs in follow-up).  Our hearing mechanism is related to our body balance.  Even our reproductive organs are overlay from our elimination processes.  Tears represent joy as fully as they represent sorrow.  The good in life may bring tears – as wrong also does.  We know from the context, if our tears are for the additions in our lives – or the subtractions.  What do we weep over, even if the weeping is inward and the physical tears don’t fall?  God is eager to address the tears of our lives as greater than that of a mother wiping the soft beautiful cheeks of her baby, not just to dry the tears but to address whatever it is that prompted them.  We are not well educated about happiness even as the Scripture accents it – especially related to the joy of the Lord.  We will do well for ourselves in evaluating what gives us joy and then showing that life joy.  There is confusion about whether or not one faces life with joy, or waits for something in life that stimulates joy.  God offers joy.  We can appropriate its mysteries.