How does a person counsel self? There are various ways, but one must begin by insisting on stepping outside the skin, looking into the self with the attitude that I am going to be a bit stern with myself. By stern, I mean stern enough. To set up a goal that is beyond one’s competency is fruitless, may discourage improvement perhaps worsen the context needing attention. In many situations issues are better treated in incremental steps, so to gain some momentum for problem solving. It is enough to create a discipline that gains a good and proper end. Probabilities and possibilities are marvelous aids in moving toward a desirable goal. Most desirable goals require some payment of dues that come from within the person. To determine in advance to make payment will make the journey more acceptable, with even more fulfillment in satisfaction when reaching the top of the mountain. I can do it, and I did. There is proper self-esteem.
Self-help can easily fail for the lack of discipline and knowledge. It has become an idiom in law that he who becomes his own lawyer in a case has engaged a fool for his defense. That is not always true. In the ancient Greek and Roman world the wealthy class insisted their sons be capable of defending themselves, both physically and mentally. They proved their physical excellence by serving in the military for a period, and experiencing the rigors required. They proved their intellectual defense by studying and practicing rhetoric, the queen of education at the time, and the birth of eloquence with language. They were schooled to use argument and evidence to gain a worthy end. Ethics were important to them, even when the standard was violated, as occurred more often than the orthodox person would have it.
Rhetoric moved over to writing as the idealists used language to teach and persuade, not only by speech but increasingly by letter and essay – by 1000ad. Reasons for the respect for the writings of Renaissance persons can be found in the ancient tradition. It was important to Shakespeare and the translators of the King James Bible in form and style, and it was even used by Lincoln in his Presidency. Luther did the same, and the German language was impacted by Luther’s style. The story of language is such that those who have the highest grasp and application of it have more useful personal tools than those who do not.
Attached to the above, for self-counseling, is the investigation of relevant problems to be addressed. The Christian begins with the Scriptures, and may even end there, depending upon the depth of investigation and competency at insight and interpretation. The field of counseling, of interpretive literature is so extensive that one can find excellent sources for virtually any topic of belief/conduct interest. In the technological age there is virtually no excuse, except embarrassing laziness, for not getting information helpful to the solution of human problems, spiritual or physical. Self-improvement is sometimes difficult, but possible. It’s a great game to play, and works best when persons identify in language what they need.
The Book of Job in the Bible is a lengthy counseling session between Job and his three friends (Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar). There was a young interloper named Elihu, who was somewhat put off by the wisdom of the elders, including Job. He gave his opinion, perhaps not realizing that he missed something as the elders had missed. Then God interrupts them all with the point of view, not of the created to the created, but as the creator to the created. They learned that the mystery might well be outside of nature. God informed them how to tap in. We can learn the same lesson, so take the humble route to solution, to acknowledgement of who we are, to prayer, to God’s insights revealed to us, and to bravery owning up to ourselves and what we have – not only in ourselves, but in others. Here then we learn something of meekness, humility, discipline, petition for God’s counsel to us – with effort to change. We gain insight into who we are, and what can be – of what we do and what we ought to do. Set up something of a role playing situation, as we find in Job, and seek answers from our: Father who art in heaven. We can find the pattern that will make us into the persons we ought to be, and who we should be to others. We ought to put anything of importance to us, in words. Write them down, amend them, and live by them. God informs us that we have the basic solutions within ourselves. We do well in finding them. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020