The New Man

Counselors are often ambivalent about what is sometimes called the new man.  According to the people who write about the subject the new man differs from the old in that he is supposed to be more sensitive (especially to women and children); more domestic (assuming general house and kitchen duties); more nurturing (change the baby, read to the children, talk to them, listen to them); more patient (considerate of others likely accepting some personal inconvenience); and, so the list proceeds.  God begins by informing us that the good man is defined by God, and that God is active in making good persons, so those men must have some communication from God. (It is acknowledged here that Scripture above refers to men in the generic sense so includes all of mankind in genders, ages, cultures, and that which includes all persons.)  God writes to us in Scripture presuming we can be good and normal.  Goodness is presumed to be normal.

The ambivalence found in those who study the role of the male in society rests largely in common factors like the macho man continues to be rewarded publicly, and the domesticated male is sometimes perceived as helpful but not very exciting.  One needs only to review what happens to athletes, to rock stars, to celebrities generally, and especially to the wealthy to discover that fame and fortune are points of greatest attraction for women and children.  Even children with well-defined fathers often make the celebrity their role model.  One year Burt Reynolds was voted the favorite father-figure by high school students, male and female.  Does anyone imagine Reynolds doing the dishes?  Reynolds noted on hearing of his election that something must be wrong in parenting when he is named as a father-figure.  His personal life appears to have been randomly lived related to women and children.  (Even the authoritative critics are becoming scornful of the autobiographies of these men, books that focus on self-interests, wealth, celebrity, and sexual exploits with women holding uneven status.  One man boasted of his numbers of women.)

It is common for society or groups to define their ideal persons and situations — then walk away from them. In counseling one discovers that wealth, physical appeal, excitement, sometimes talent, are motivating factors for relationships between men and women. The new man may not be all that new.  It may have always been so for the public.  When we read the description of the attitudes and conducts of the Christian male in the New Testament, we gain the insight into what men should be in any generation or culture.  Jesus discussed it.  The Apostle Paul described to Timothy the characteristics he would expect to find in the male, especially in the husband and father, and applied them to leadership in the church. The man following the pattern would not only provide something good for society and his family but also for self. 

We want the good life: l) to be spiritual (prayerful); 2) to control emotions (especially evading anger in avoiding disputes); 3) to cultivate family (gaining respect and obedience by good conduct, focusing on the needs of the family); 4) to commit to values (which includes right attitudes about money, honesty, sobriety, work, and conscience); and, 5) to have a commendable reputation among neighbors (if brought before a group, good report would be given).  The apostle, in several letters accented the concept of love, related to the character of the person who gives love rather than the character of the one receiving it. (Society tends to accent the idea that persons deserving love should receive it.  The Scriptures accent the concept that Christians become loving persons.  Becoming the loving person makes the significant difference, and is not dependent upon being loved – except by God.)  Loving the unlovely is the miracle.)The new man, for the Christian, is to become the person he can become as outlined in Scripture.  Every man, and woman, in the biblical context, should deeply desire to meet in himself/herself the person that he or she was meant to be.  We find them in the Scripture, usually in the context of the family and work, so to include the form of the children, and the future benefit related to family development.  Children would like to proclaim both parents as their models, their first context for life formation.  Failing that society may fail.