God holds high value for our bodies – he made them. A part of the divine story is that the body will ultimately be restored in resurrection, foreshadowed in the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The Apostles made clear that what they preached of God and Christian living was verified in the resurrection of Jesus. The prodigality in which so many persons follow course in the care and activity of their bodies intimates that they do not hold as high opinion of the mortal body as God does. It is interesting that studies show that persons of faith average more years to life than those who do not. I would imagine that those who, in faith, give proper attention to their bodies and those of others, do better than persons who minister to life without the spiritual values of physical relationships. We are most interested here in the gentle, but important relationship of appropriate touch – appropriate for the one giving it and the one receiving it. The factor here is not concerned with sexual interests, although sexuality, when properly directed, is a special part of what we affirm for our bodies. Physical relationships between persons relate to the unity of mankind.
In his book, The Roadmap to 100 Plus, Walter Bortz, M.D. argued for touch as a way to gain the century mark in one’s life. As one stated about the Bortz theme: Bad day? Hug someone. Your body will release oxytocsin, the love hormone, which reduces stress, eases depression and improves immune function. . . . you’ll lift someone else’s spirits. In a vast number of situations, Bortz is right on.
As meaningful as the factor is to the physical and psychological life of mankind, it is even larger in that it has a spiritual meaning that we are all, in some elevated sense but elusive for some, a part of each other. We tend to believe that we all came from the first pair parentage identity, so we may use the string of touch as one way (among others) to remember that unity of identification. It is this drive that makes us yearn for face to face meeting with persons we care most about, and, even with lesser drive, we respect in contact with others. If this might be practically applied across the spectrum, we would surely reduce the horrors of human conflict, shown in its worst form in hatred, abuse and murder, massively in warfare. I am now old. I am in my tenth decade. I have survived threats of death, including two serious cancers leading to major surgeries. Other physical impediments might have ended my earthly sojourn long ‘ere this. I may make the 100 years’ slope. If I do there will be many causes, found in the instructions of Scripture. One of these includes the appropriate intimacy of persons to persons. Significant is the sense of love and courage that comes from the caring persons of my life – especially family. (Take heart, Jesus said.)
There are those who, by their attitudes, touch a life, as I feel from my children and most fully from my wife when she lived. She was, in fact, a private person, who at first tended to withdraw from physical contact. She changed. We knew when a touch on the shoulder, the taking of hands, the kiss and hug were vital to our lives. Even now I remember her kiss, hand-holding, and intimacy. My children usually leave me with a hug, a silent memory of their mother. Even when they do not I feel hugged of them. Non-huggers need to learn that mystery – even to hug without hugging. It is done in the silence, but real. May God bless, and may persons feel we have embraced them. That is a mystery, to feel we have been hugged. It is so deep and meaningful that some persons achieve the feel of touch in the attitudes of their lives toward others. We have too often been hugged by persons who do not mean it. Christ hugs our lives. He loves us – closely. The parents who don’t know this do not meet the inner person of their children through proper physical contact and are not guiding the inner urge for fulfillment in love and propriety. It relates to the preparation of the child for later family experience of their own making. My wife informed me how her mother had given her an attitude of aloofness by reducing the intimacy of touch. Any touch was a threat to moral conduct so to be evaded. When she learned the warmth in love and strength in character for the right uses of intimacy, she faced another problem – a feeling of put-down of her parents for creating in her a feeling of antiseptic life that missed and avoided warmth with others. It required understanding and forgiveness, which she gave, but regretted the earlier loss of holy human celebration. *Mark W. Lee, Sr. — 2016, 2020